Michael Jackson Fan Appreciation


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PostSubject: Funny Quotes   Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:11 pm

"Tell her to go to hell"
"Her" is Gloria Allred who wanted to investigate how he threated his kids.



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"I love to tour"



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"Me and Janet really are two different people"
"In the past month, I've gone from "where is he?" to "here he is again"




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"I'm a nice person! I just took a shower, and washed my hair thoroughly"



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''Salvation Army tomorrow Bill. Really, don't laugh. You find good stuff. don't you Tito? That other places would sell real expensive''



And many years later:



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"I'll give you more than a hug"



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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:20 pm

"What a Schmuck, Back Up"



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(While on the cherry picker) - ''Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee''



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''Jesus Christmas!'' (while recieving a gift from two fans)



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It wasn't a quote, but during the Barbara Walters interview, he let it slip that Debbie may be pregnant again. I think it was an out take and didn't air during the actual interview, but him realizing his slip and trying to backtrack is so cute and funny.



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"Just pretend I'm not doing it"!!- Japanese interview



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''There's a little bug on stage. Security!''



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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:30 pm

"See you at the wedding!"



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Interview for Gold magazine in 2002

"If You were invisible for a day in London, what would you do?"

Michael:Oh boy. Who would I like to slap? Let me see {laughs}... I think I'd find one of the tabloid paparazzis and kick his ass , moonwalk style.


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''I could be Agent M''



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There's a lot of funny stuff in the Brotherly Fun interview too, when Michael was like 11 or 12

Tito: Well Michael, now we're rapping about things we're having fun with, but you did something we had fun with, but you didn't have fun. How about when Miss Broda (??) made you stand in that corner in school for a whole hour. How did you feel about that?
- Michael: Ehh, I don't know..
Jermaine: Yeah, for singing in class huh?
- Michael: See, well I can't help that I have to sing, to stay in tune!

And Michael about girls:

"Well I like dey legs big... and I like 'em with pretty big eyes... and uhh, let's see what else I like about gals"
*Brothers are laughing in background*
- Tito: How about their personality, Mike?
"Yeah I like their personality. Yeah that's one thing I like about them."

And there's more from the Brotherly Fun, part 2

Tito: "I bet you a million there's a tune ya'll are writing, I bet you I'll sell twice as much as you do."
- Michael: Not my tunes!

Jackie: "The other day you know, I looked at Mike's drawer you know, and I saw his folder, the songs he was writing.. and it was so funny I just laughed at the lyrics"
- Michael (sounding a bit upset): "What were the lyrics, tell me the lyrics!"
Jermaine: "What was it about, peanut butter and crackers?" ()
- Jackie: "Well I give him a 100% you know, cause he's really trying though. That's good, he's trying.
Michael: "What, what were the lyrics?"
- Jackie: Well, I don't wanna have everybody laugh
Tito: "What you talking about "Jack and Jill"?






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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:29 am

Interviewer: How old are you? 24?
Michael: 30... No 24




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Katherine Jackson in her book "My Family"

I’d also get reports from his brothers concerning his nosiness. “Mother, when we were at so-and-so’s house, Michael just had to know what was in their drawer,” one of them would say. “When they left the room he opened the drawer and look inside.”
MARLON: He hasn’t changed. We were backstage somewhere during the Victory tour when Michael walked into a man’s office and started nosing
around. “Michael, get out of those drawers!” we told him. He’s well known for snooping in his brothers’ stuff, too. One day he was over at Randy’s. Randy had to go somewhere, and after he left, Michael started opening some of his drawers. In one of them he found a note:
“Michael, don’t go in here with your nosy self!” Michael laughed and laughed.


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In one of the many depositons MJ had to give he is asked "are you having trouble with your memory, Mr. Jackson?" and he answers "No, not that I can recall".

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Oprah interview: "You know, let's put it this way, if all the people in Hollywood who have had plastic surgery, if they went on vacation, there wouldn't be a person left in town."



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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:49 am

People were worried that his younger fans will skip school to see him and that's what he said: '' I don't want any of my fans to skip school to see me arrive at 2 PM, Logan airport at Gate 3.''

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"This is sad, this is a sad chicken"



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"Look at her titties"



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LL Cool J - Hey Mike how did you do that lean in Smooth Criminal
MJ - Oh, what we did is that we all got together and did this spirtial ritual
LL - Really?
MJ - No silly

LL - Hey Mike i gotta pass gass
MJ - What?
LL - I gotta fart
MJ - Oh, then go right ahead




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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:56 am

"Get yo ass to the house"



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Lawyer Miller alleged that the star never even rehearsed for the gigs.
"I conceptualise everything, " said Jackson. "I visualise what I want the concert to look like. "I stand in front of a mirror in my bathroom and try out the dance moves. It's hard work."
... Miller asked Jackson if "all the choreographers, technicians, backing singers and band" were in his bathroom for the rehearsal.
Jackson said: "I'm not sure. I don't want to guess."


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'This is Muscles and I've trained him to eat interviewers'

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Interviewer - How much plastic sugery have you had?
Michael - Not that much but am thinking (points to his forehead) about putting a third eye here


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MJ:
"It hurts to be mobbed. Not mentally, but physically. Your body feels like a noodle, being pulled by ten different people. They don't realize it. They love you so much they just want a part of you. They say, 'I gotta get a peice of this guy, if it's his shirt, his hair, his face, anything.' There are fans who actually have pieces of my hair. I could go to England right now, and they'd show me and say, 'This is your hair from 3 years ago.' I'd say, 'Oh my gosh.' And it's sitting in their wallet. They collect hair."


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“Women have taken the most powerful men down to nothing because of what’s between their legs”.

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In court case with Marcel Avram where he said he wanted to "create magic"....

Lawyer: What do you mean....magic?
MJ: You know....abra ca dabra!


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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:58 am

From Mexico deposition


L: “What were the circumstances in which you started making exhibit 489?”
MJ: “Well, just a tape recorder there and making sounds like *beat boxing* *starts singing* every night she walks right in my dreams…”
Prosecutor: “Objection! Objection!”
MJ: *continues to sing* “Says I met her from the start…”
P: “I have an objection. I have an objection.”
MJ: *Fades out staarrt* *Moves hair from face and puts it right back where it was*
MJ: “Well …that’s how I did it.” *smiling*
L: “How…how did you ummmm....…how did you come to um......…you may have told me already but let me.....I don’t think you did. How did you come to get the song...”
MJ: *licking corners of mouth with tongue*
L: “…. the music on exhibit 489 in mind?”
MJ: “Like I said before…songs create themselves, it just come out of me. It just come from inside…out. And I think I’m just a source through which it comes and uhhhhh...…You asked me how I created and I started to perform to give you an example of how it’s done, of how I create songs and when I create my music I make these sounds. I wrote a song called ‘Who Is It’…”
P: “Objection!”


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"Hey, why down there?"



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Also from Mexico deposition


" And you don’t uhh...… do you … include common musical phrases in your songs that you write?
MJ: Common musical phrases…
-Do you know what that is?
MJ: Yeah, but I don’t know if YOU know what that means…"


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Dangerous Court Case Deposition

Judge: "Mr Jackson, just answer the question"
Michael:"I'm just trying to tell her the situation"
Judge: "Just answer the question!"
Michael: "I'm answering the question.."
Judge: "You're not"
Michael:"I'm trying.."
Judge: "You're failing"
Michael: *giggle*




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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:00 am

Michael and Louie

Interviewer says, "he's gonna spit"(at 0:50) and Michael replies, "Be quiet!"

Then at the end, Michael cosying up to Louie and going, "Are there any questions?"



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"I'm a soccer fan now, definitely. I'm addicted. It was so exciting and passionate - the fans were like the people who come to my concerts. They were screaming and shouting and cheering their players on. I loved it. I wanted to jump up and start dancing because I'm used to performing on stage when I hear all that noise".

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Contrary to what you might expect, Di LEO's is a humble space in a nondescript building. But hanging on those office walls are enough gold and platinum records to make your head spin. And there is also a framed photograph of Frank Dileo and Michael Jackson, from behind, standing at urinals in a public restroom. Above Michael’s head, in Michael’s handwriting, are the words:

“This water sure is cold.” Above Frank’s head, he wrote, “It’s deep too.”





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“Why not just tell people I’m an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They’ll believe anything you say, because you’re a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, “I’m an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight,” people would say, “Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He’s cracked up. You can’t believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth.”

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Starting at 00:18 secs, as they were laughing at the officer...
"Naw he want a slab ah ribs...Krispy Kreme"



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At 9:15 the lady is asking him to sign someones BASEballs, its funny how Michael is like "Sign his balls?.....OOHH" as if she meant otherwise



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From This Is It

Kenny - Guys, that's the que. I'm sorry, are we missunderstanding something?
Mike - We're sizzling


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From Liza Minnelli interview:
Liza: Michael, why did you let me marry this idiot??
MJ: You looked so happy! Your dress was so beautiful!!! So let me go!!!
L: Oh, Michael...
MJ: It's over - RELAX!!!!


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Michael: And anyway, they turned my room upside-down, went through all my books, all my videotapes, all my private things and they found nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing that could say Michael Jackson did this. Nothing!
Diane: But let me ask you a couple of questions...
Michael: To this day nothing. Still, nothing...
Diane: Let me ask you...
Michael: ...nothing, nothing, nothing!


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In The Dangerous Deposition final part

L- Mr. Jackson, do you notice any smilarities in those 4 bars played together?
M- Yes.
L- And what is that?
M- Well, we both say Dangerous, sounds like to me.


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He had shoulder-length black hair and was wearing a shiny black tuxedo with aviators tucked into his open white shirt. He knew how to dress. As I walked up to Michael, he extended his hand and said, “Hi, Tim.” That was weird, but I guessed he had been briefed prior to our arrival. Then I figured I’d try to break the ice, so I said, “Hi … and you are?” The prince and everyone within earshot looked at me with disbelief, but the King of Pop simply replied “Michael” with no sense of ego whatsoever. I smiled, “I know,” and we laughed. To the relief of everyone listening, Michael had a sense of humor.

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Oxford Speech:

I am humbled to be lecturing in a place that has previously been filled by such notable figures as Mother Theresa, Albert Einstein, Ronald Reagan, Robert Kennedy and Malcolm X. I've even heard that Kermit the Frog has made an appearance here, and I've always felt a kinship with Kermit's message that it's not easy being green. I'm sure he didn't find it any easier being up here than I do!


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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:24 am

(During Dangerous Tour rehearsals for She's Out Of My Life)

''There'll be some stairs here so I can hug a couple of girls''

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This is a video where at 0:06 MJ says "Hi, my name is Adrian Grant"



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“Sometimes, yes. In the beginning, no. Then they start looking me in the eyes. I put these things on and then they start looking behind the glasses… Girls are very smart, you know. You can trick a guy quicker than you can trick a girl. Women can just pick it up. They know the way you move your body, the way you walk, the way you gesture. I hear them go, ‘Look at the way he moves his hand’, or ‘Look at the way he was walking’, and I think, ‘Oh no’.”

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Michael was nomited for this award Sour Apple for "the least cooperatine entertainment figure of the year or the person who has brought disonor to the industry" he didn't win but he sent this message to them. Star magazine is a tabloid wich has been reporting false stories on Michael over the years. So Michael was being very sarcastic

I am sorry cannot be here in person, as I am currently in Japan for my HIStory World Tour and am hosting a holiday party for the employees of STAR magazine tonight. Thank you very much for this award, and I wish all of you a very happy holiday season. I love you.

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From Moonwalk

''Whenever I run into people they usually say ''I can't believe your here'' and I ask ''why wouldn't you be here?'' I have to be somewhere on earth at some point so why not here?''

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"Snakes are very misunderstood. Snakes, I suggest, may be the oldest victims of bad press."

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-"I don't think I've ever done an interview outside with trees and bushes watching me."
- MJ sings: "Dancing on the clouds....soaring up sooooo high....watch me now....watch me flyyyyyyyyyyyyy...I'm peter pannnn....I can do anything....."
- LaToya said it was getting cold outside and he said something like "how can you say its cold. It's not cold...It's Magic"
- when MJ asks Latoya about her dreams and she thinks he means the horrible nightmares she's had, and MJ goes [nasal voice] "I've got an idiot for a sister, folks!"
- MJ to Bill Bray: "Would you be quiet you fat headed rascal."
-(...) sitting in front of the water fountain.
-Latoya: "Michael I could kill you, I'm soaked... are you wet?"
-Michael: {in a cheeky voice} "Of course honey"




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"I admit that I love starting trends, but I never thought wearing white socks was going to catch on."

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"Please, don’t make me laugh and crack my make- up, thank you. Michael Jackson"

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"He can suck my socks."



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"I look into drawers...I don't steal but..."

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"If I'm going to do some kind of sport, I have to laugh. I don't do anything like basketball or golf. Basketball is very competitive, and so is tennis; they make you angry. I'm not into that."

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"See that ugly ape? That is Randy Jackson"

7:28 MJ *makes fart sound with mouth/or really farts, doesnt matter lol* Dont worry that was my mouth, not what you think. Dont be silly, billy.




00:49 Randy: You off. Michael: Man you black can't you sing in key?
"There she is, here she comes down the aisle modeling for us"



"Wanna see some more nice weather?-- see that?-- are you checking it out?" (as he scans the clouds with the camera)



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PostSubject: Re: Funny Quotes   Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:27 am



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"Mac, I'm going to annihilate you!"



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Interviewer - How do you feel about kissing on a first date?
Michael - I can dig it!


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Paparazzi: Michael can you say hi?
Michael: Yes, hi!


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