Bill Bray keeping Michael awake, 2:5 Glenda Tapes, mid-1992

Michael: Got something to tell you (laughing)
Glenda: What is it NOW? What is this- oh, is it something to do with the hospital?
Michael: Nooo. It’s something to do with Bill.
Glenda: With Bill?
Michael: And Randy. Randall and Kathy, God. Well, Randy already knows, because he had a huge problem with Bill before. It’s gross, I don’t want to tell you (laughing)
Glenda: Oh, come on! What is this? Okay, this is Bill Bray right?
Michael: Yeah, yeah.
Glenda: Okay. What did he do, what’s he doing?
Michael: Everytime, everytime he gets up…
Glenda: (laughing) Come on, man, it can’t be that gross!
Michael: It happens everytime. Everytime, this has been going on for years. (laugh)
Glenda: (laugh) Really?
Michael: (i) stay in the room. Oh, he’s getting ready to get in the shower. Everytime, everytime even when we were little kids. Bill (i) I tell you how he snores he (makes a loud snoring noise).
Glenda: I know you told me! (laugh)
Michael: Everytime, everytime, girl, the first thing he does…(laughing)
Glenda: Oh no! What?
Michael: (still laughing)
Glenda and Michael: (both laugh)
Glenda: Come on! What does he do?
Michael: He’ll wake up, go bursting outta bed, and he farts real loud! (laughing)
Glenda: (gasps) Are you serious?
Michael: (laughing) Yes.
Glenda: Why?
Michael: He’s been doing this for years. I don’t know. I said, “You better check this, I think there’s something wrong with you, Bill.”
Glenda: (laughing)
Michael: But when he opens his eyes, he’ll stretch and he’ll wake up. “Michael, you awake?” “Yeah, I been, man…”
Glenda: That’s the worst, Michael!
Michael: (laughing)
Glenda: Oh my god, what a turn off. How do you stand it?
Michael: (laughing)
Glenda: (laughing with him)
Michael: He’s always had that problem.
Glenda: (laugh) I hope it’s just in the morning!
Michael: Yeah.
Glenda: It’s not like an all-day thing…
Michael: (laugh- SO CUTE) Nooo…
Michael and Glenda: (still laughing…)
Glenda: So funny!
Michael: And we used to tease him when we were little boys and stuff like that. We used to share a room with him, me and Marlon. First thing he did in the morning, he farted reeaal loud. Oh god we were like, “Clear the room, clear the room!”
Glenda: (laughs)
Michael: He STILL does it. I haven’t been on tour with him for a long time. We like, “Oh my gooood, Bill!”
Glenda: How funny! Oh my god. That IS gross, that’s the worst.
Michael: I know when he’s awake, everytime I’d be playing asleep. “Michael? Joker, joker are you awake? Hey, joker?” I go (loud fart noise)].
Glenda and Michael: (laughter)
Glenda: That is funny.
Michael: My god, he trying to kill me
Glenda: That’s very funny. (laugh) Well, I guess when you’re in close quarters with somebody like that…
Michael: You got to be LOUD and stuff?
Glenda and Michael: (laugh)
Glenda: Yeah…
Michael: [immitating Bill: gas now, it's gas, yeah yeah].
Glenda: (laugh)

Michael: You were mad. You were madder than that woman that had a nappy natural couldn’t pick it out with a comb – you were so mad!
Glenda: (laugh) Or when you called me and told me that you were gonna get married. I thought that I had given you all thewrong advice, I thought, “Oh my god!”
Michael and Glenda: (Loud laughter)
Michael: I forgot all about that!
Glenda: “What did I saaay?! I didn’t mean to!”

Michael: Well, yeah, that’s one of the last things he dabbled in, he screwed it up. I said, “Don’t use Don King.” And all this and that. (Joe’s voice)” Oh, but Don, well, you know, he’s a good businessman.” I said, “No, he’s not, he’s a crook.”
Glenda: (i) [That was a funny one? Tell us the funny part?]
Michael: He can suck my socks.

Glenda: What put you in such a crazy mood?
Michael: Excuse me?
Glenda: What put you in such a crazy mood?
Michael: Oh god, a number of things.
Glenda: Huh? A number of things?
Michael: Yeah.
Glenda: Good things?
Michael: You know, Kathy’s, she’s so crazy.
Glenda: Why?
Michael: We were talkin’ and I was dyin’. Oh my god.
Glenda: Dyin’?
Michael: What?
Glenda: Dyin’?
Michael: Yeah. It was so-
Glenda: Like “dyin’”, funny, or-
Michael: Yeah.
Glenda: Oh, you were laughing.
Michael: Yeah.
Glenda: Oh, okay.
Michel: Do you really wanna know?
Glenda: Yeah!
Michael: (laughing)
Glenda: Tell me, what!
Michael: (laughing) First of all, I’m having a wine cooler.
Glenda: (gasps)
Michael: (Today is Kathy’s birthday.)
Glenda: Oh. Yeah?
Michael: Yeah.
Glenda: Ohh.
Michael: And, girl. I don’t know how we got on the subject… God I do not remember (I, laughing) We were talking about… white guys.
Glenda: White guys?
Michael: Yeah (laugh)
Glenda: Why?
Michael: I was talking with Kathy, cause she’s a nurse. Oh, because Randy the other day was calling Kathy prejudice and stuff like that and she’s like I’m not prejudice, I like white people. “I have a preference, I would never sleep with a white man.” And we were talking about that. (laughing)
Glenda: Really?
Michael: (laugh) She goes (laugh)
Glenda: Oh no…
Michael: She like, “No, I would never sleep with a white man because their penises are just too pink” or too red or something.
Glenda: (gasps)
Michael: And their veins show! (laughing)
Glenda: Oh my god!
Michael: (laughing)
Glenda: Oh!
Michael: She like, “No, I wouldn’t mind, you know, doin’ stuff with a white man because I’m not prejudice, I like white people” and stuff “But ooh, god, I could never I could never lay down with a white man!”
Glenda: She said that?
Michael: Because their penis is all pink and its all red, you know. She gotta these old men, you know, that sometimes she gotta put catheters on them and stuff like that.
Glenda: Ugh!
Michael: She’s like, “(i) oh when the white man’s old. His penis shrinks up and you gotta jerk it up” and (i) find it and stuff! (laugh)
Glenda: Oh my god.
Michael: Like, “Black men aren’t like that.” You know? “Even when they’re old, their penis don’t shrink up that little. And they’re not all red and wrinkled.”
Glenda: Ewwww.
Michael: (laugh) I like, “Oh my God.”
Glenda: (i).
Michael: (She said, “I like them thick”) And she’s like, “I just can’t be making love with a white man. There’s no red or pink stuff inside me!” (laughs)
Glenda: Oh, gross! That’s what she said?
Michael: Yeah.
Glenda: Eww.
Michael: “But I’m not prejudice, it’s just my preference.” (i).